Anoint Me With This!

I texted my friend, Angie, and asked her this:

“What can you tell me about Babylon and the Babylonians? Just the crib notes please.”

Angie is my dear friend from high school who has been married to a pastor for the past 20 years. She looks like a cherub; porcelain skin, smiling eyes, and golden ringlets framing her face.


This seems fitting since she knows all things GOD.

“They tried to build a tower to reach Heaven after God told them not to,” she said.

“He told them to spread out and multiply throughout the earth. So, when they disobeyed, God gave them different languages and they could no longer understand each other.” 

I feel this way about my daughter who speaks Teenager. I don’t have a clue what she’s saying. 

“Then the people grouped together according to language and type and spread out into different areas,” Angie said.

I don’t know the origins of Teenager. I don’t think it’s Romantic...more like reverse Pig Latin where the consonants and endings of words are silent,

“Ah ma ga. You neve gue wha happe in schoo todeh.”

That’s a bunch of babble right there and we live in the same house.

I had a voice teacher once who spoke with impeccable diction. She grew up here, but I swear she was from a different country. She had an accent, but I couldn’t place it. Come to find out it’s called, Neurotic Voice - Teacherese. She insisted on speaking only in her head-voice and hailed from the land of Mrs. Doubtfire.

I thanked Angie for her biblical prowess and sprang this one on her,

“Well, did you know that the Babylonians were the first to make salad dressing?”

“You mean the New Babylonians?” she said.

“New Babylonians? What?” I said.

“Well, the New Babylonians became a people in 18th century BC. They may have a record of salad dressing from then, but definitely not the Old Testament Tower of Babble Babs,” she said.

I dunno. 

Now, I’m confused and don’t want to spend anymore time researching who was the first to dress their greens, but I think it’s a huge contribution to mankind. 

Somewhere in the Bible they deserve an honorable mention or a footnote, or something. Like on the 8th day God made vinegar and oil and presto…

salad dressing.

I think the first ruler of Babylon was named Nimrod, so maybe he wasn’t smart enough to come up with this idea on his own. 

Even still, I don’t think the Babylonians should have been punished for building a tower to heaven. Maybe they just wanted to offer their vinaigrette up to God.

At any rate, long before Jesus turned water into wine, some Babylonian somewhere turned wine into vinegar. 

And you can anoint me every day with with a little olive oil and vinegar and salt and pepper, too. 

Praise be to God. 



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